Before having kids of my own, I felt sorry for writers with kids. They had so much less time, and a different set of priorities. I assumed this made them inferior writers. Then I became a parent, and I realized--it's ok to care about other things. To put family above myself, and my books. I'm sure I could've written a few more books if I didn't have children pulling my attention in a million different directions. But I'm not actually sure they'd be better books. Children open your eyes to a wealth of new experiences and emotions. This has the potential to make you a better writer with a deeper well to draw from.
Thank you my brother, I, too am very happy we connected on here. Hope your kiddo is okay by the way! I read that update about the birthday incident, reminded me of what we just went through with my own boy. Boys are fucking insane.
He's in good spirits and on the mend! Boys really are unhinged: We had a near perfect 2.5 hour hang with friends and then things, as they always do, escalated.
"This turns out to be great training for fiction, and for finding the humanity in your characters—especially the characters who aren’t your protagonist." Hell yeah! (Also love that this arrived in my inbox exactly as I'm working on an essay about protagonist syndrome and life not imitating art.)
I find it funny how you mention IRRATIONALITY a few times in your post, since it's the hardest for me as a mom. I also need huge amounts of loneliness and silence that are really hard to get. But parenthood is, indeed, the biggest spiritual and emotional upgrade you'll ever get, and an invaluable tool to better understand what it means to be human. Thanks for this post!
The irrationality is wild. My daughter is about to turn three and has been ON ONE for the last month or so. She's right and knows best and I am just her serf. It is exhausting, but also hilarious and beautiful at the same time to witness her personality and boundaries develop in real time. Thank you for reading, Marina.
Nice work. I relate to this so much as a dad (of 2 under 2) and writer who is trying to get back in the habit of writing regularly. I'm Looking forward to checking out more of your work!
Oh what a read. My day was a wash today and I had huge plans for my imploding deadline and after a 5 am wake up and definitely not going back to sleep, the realization that we have the school BBQ tomorrow and I had to bake but didn’t have the pan I needed and needed to go to the market and get the cat food (I forgot the cat food) I thought this is so wild and I need to start with a little more compassion for the Mama piece of me.
As someone who hopes to have a family someday but is also extremely nervous about balancing a job, writing, and being a good parent...this was encouraging to read. <3
Wonderful post, Andrew. You’re breaking the mold here for Substack Father’s Day posts. Straight up banger for all working & writing parents.
In retrospect, I might have gotten some decent stuff done over Daniel Tiger but man, any writer parents out there, if you’re not rolling with Bluey as your muse, I can’t help you. That show is the alpha and omega when comes to babysitter in a bind / background inspiration.
Appreciate you, Matt! And Bluey is up there, too. Daniel Tiger has since fallen off (my son was like less than 2 in that pic). Funny enough, they are both really into the old school 1960s Pink Panther episodes, which are excellent and hilarious.
This was fire Andrew, and I completely forgot it had been Father's Day because these kids were trippin. Looking forward to bringing this up in Miami soon.
Experienced an unexpected complication to being a writer-Dad yesterday when my 2 year old boy nearly bit off my fingertip when I tried to feed him a bagel. Gonna need to take a week off typing.
Before having kids of my own, I felt sorry for writers with kids. They had so much less time, and a different set of priorities. I assumed this made them inferior writers. Then I became a parent, and I realized--it's ok to care about other things. To put family above myself, and my books. I'm sure I could've written a few more books if I didn't have children pulling my attention in a million different directions. But I'm not actually sure they'd be better books. Children open your eyes to a wealth of new experiences and emotions. This has the potential to make you a better writer with a deeper well to draw from.
Great post!
Well said, Lee! I agree completely. Thank you for reading
Beautiful piece of writing, Andrew. It's a privilege to know you and big ups for becoming the kind of dad you always wanted.
Thank you my brother, I, too am very happy we connected on here. Hope your kiddo is okay by the way! I read that update about the birthday incident, reminded me of what we just went through with my own boy. Boys are fucking insane.
He's in good spirits and on the mend! Boys really are unhinged: We had a near perfect 2.5 hour hang with friends and then things, as they always do, escalated.
This summer's gonna be wild.
Bro. That's how it always is. Shit changes in a flash!
"This turns out to be great training for fiction, and for finding the humanity in your characters—especially the characters who aren’t your protagonist." Hell yeah! (Also love that this arrived in my inbox exactly as I'm working on an essay about protagonist syndrome and life not imitating art.)
Thank you, Rafael! Looking forward to that piece.
We need an online collective of dad writers. This was great and I feel all of it.
I would love that. I've noticed there is a pretty large community of us here on Substack, which has been cool to see. Thanks for reading, Myles
Hey Andrew,
I find it funny how you mention IRRATIONALITY a few times in your post, since it's the hardest for me as a mom. I also need huge amounts of loneliness and silence that are really hard to get. But parenthood is, indeed, the biggest spiritual and emotional upgrade you'll ever get, and an invaluable tool to better understand what it means to be human. Thanks for this post!
The irrationality is wild. My daughter is about to turn three and has been ON ONE for the last month or so. She's right and knows best and I am just her serf. It is exhausting, but also hilarious and beautiful at the same time to witness her personality and boundaries develop in real time. Thank you for reading, Marina.
As the father of a four year old boy, I felt this one. You've articulated all the things I've been feeling lately. Thank you.
Bobby! Man, thanks for sharing this. It means a lot. Glad the post resonated with you.
Beautifully said! And thank you for the shoutout!
Thank you for sharing your experience! Currently experiencing the ego death of early parenthood and wondering how to fit writing into it all.
Thank you, Evelina! Best of luck to you on the journey—and congrats!
Nice work. I relate to this so much as a dad (of 2 under 2) and writer who is trying to get back in the habit of writing regularly. I'm Looking forward to checking out more of your work!
Thank you, Marvin! Two under two is no joke my man. Wishing you the best. It gets better!
Oh what a read. My day was a wash today and I had huge plans for my imploding deadline and after a 5 am wake up and definitely not going back to sleep, the realization that we have the school BBQ tomorrow and I had to bake but didn’t have the pan I needed and needed to go to the market and get the cat food (I forgot the cat food) I thought this is so wild and I need to start with a little more compassion for the Mama piece of me.
This life is not for the faint of heart! But you’re doing it. Thanks for reading, Jane
As someone who hopes to have a family someday but is also extremely nervous about balancing a job, writing, and being a good parent...this was encouraging to read. <3
Thank you, Charlee! I’m glad it felt useful to you.
I loved this! Can’t wait for your fatherhood novel ❤️
Thank you, Leigh!
Wonderful post, Andrew. You’re breaking the mold here for Substack Father’s Day posts. Straight up banger for all working & writing parents.
In retrospect, I might have gotten some decent stuff done over Daniel Tiger but man, any writer parents out there, if you’re not rolling with Bluey as your muse, I can’t help you. That show is the alpha and omega when comes to babysitter in a bind / background inspiration.
Appreciate you, Matt! And Bluey is up there, too. Daniel Tiger has since fallen off (my son was like less than 2 in that pic). Funny enough, they are both really into the old school 1960s Pink Panther episodes, which are excellent and hilarious.
This was fire Andrew, and I completely forgot it had been Father's Day because these kids were trippin. Looking forward to bringing this up in Miami soon.
Thank you bro! You didn't miss it haha, this Sunday, technically. But yes, would be dope to talk about this at Books & Books. Can't wait for that.
Experienced an unexpected complication to being a writer-Dad yesterday when my 2 year old boy nearly bit off my fingertip when I tried to feed him a bagel. Gonna need to take a week off typing.
I feel that. My daughter bit the shit out of my arm last night for no damn reason. Just ran up on me all excited and chomped down.
Got one child, one novel, and Lord willing another of each on the way. Cheers to this piece, and to the death of the Shitty Father Genius Author.
AMEN, James! I am with you. It's wonderful to see that shitty ass trope changing.