Misdirections, Sally Rooney, Kendrick v. Drake, and more.

Trying something new here.

Winn Dixie, 2024.

I.

As I’m writing my second novel—mostly, stumbling around, figuring things out—I’ve also been thinking: What are some of things I’ve learned from the first time around? And, have I learned anything?

Coming up with a list of things is a lot harder than I thought it would be, to be honest. In many ways, I feel like some different version of me wrote Victim, and I can’t really remember what that guy did or how he did it. It almost feels like losing touch with a coworker you once worked closely with, but who left for another company. 

But, recently, I realized there is at least one thing I feel like I have learned, and even been able to exercise of late. And that is to move on from a larger concept, or plot, as soon as you start to get strong inklings that it isn’t really working all that well, or holding up like you thought it would. 

Perhaps this sounds obvious. But I’ll explain.

In the past, when I’d get to the stage where I’m at now with my second novel, which is, I know the bigger themes I want to get at, I know the sorts of characters I want in it, but I’m in search of the vehicle to put them all into, I’d come up with some initial ideas for that vehicle that sounded interesting. Then I’d make the mistake of telling people about one idea. Then I’d start to write the idea and realize, usually around the 60-70 page mark, that the idea wasn’t working out all that well. 

But the biggest mistake I made, was not listening to my gut when I began to feel that things weren’t working so well. I simply forced myself to move forward, forced myself to get things down, and push through writing sessions that felt frustrating.

So, here’s what I have learned: When the concept, or vehicle, or whatever you want to call it is right, when you have these characters you like and you are setting them up in something that feels true and authentic to them—and that makes them shine—the writing simply feels a lot looser.

That’s how it felt when I finally landed on how I’d package all the things I was putting into Victim. Stiffness, meanwhile, is a sign that something is off. That perhaps something needs to be changed, or abandoned. 

I’ve learned to pay attention to these feelings. When I feel that stiffness this time around, instead of powering through, I’m taking steps back and thinking: What new directions can I take? Where can I break things? How can I make this feel fun and loose again?

II.

Yo, Sally Rooney is kind of a beast.

Before picking up a copy of her 2021 novel, Beautiful World, Where Are You, I felt like I’d heard so damn much about her, without ever having actually read about her or read one of her books. Her name was just one of those names you hear all the time if you’re a big reader of literary fiction, and because of that, I admit, I assumed I probably wouldn’t like her work all that much. 

But damn was I wrong. I ripped through Beautiful World in a few days recently, which for me, and where I’m at in my life, is lightning fast. 

What I loved most about her writing: It felt expansive. It felt like it was really trying to grapple with the world around it. The characters, meanwhile, felt like distinct, real people. All of them had sharp edges, and even if they spent a brief time on the page, they made strong impressions. Her sex writing, too, was really excellent. I haven’t read sex that well on the page in a long time. It was refreshingly candid, and felt realistic to our era. 

In short, I was wrong. Rooney is the real deal and I’m looking forward to making my way through the rest of her catalog. Many thanks to the one and only

Letitia Asare

for recommending that I read Beautiful World in the first place. I’m looking forward to making my way through the rest of Rooney’s catalog.

III.

The Kendrick and Drake beef has come to its conclusion. A video for “Not Like Us” dropped, Drake looks 10 years older in recent pictures, Kendrick looks 10 years younger and is reportedly putting out a new album, in addition to a few classic tracks he’s already dropped. The dust has seemingly settled, for now. 

I’m a rap fan and always have been. This beef was something I followed with determination. I became a fan of the What’s the Dirt Youtube channel, for instance, which puts out these impressive, documentary style breakdowns of classic diss records. If you’re at all interested in this current beef, and really want to go down a rabbit hole, I suggest watching this, this, and this. 

But now that things are over, I have some conclusions about the ending. To me, I think the battle helped illustrate the result of taking one of two paths as an artist.

Drake, despite what you want to say about him, is talented. That much was clear when he first arrived on the scene with a style a level of vulnerability, rapping skills, and singing that felt unique and original. Kendrick emerged around the same time, with different, but equally special talents. In tracks like “Rigamortis”, or “HiiiPower,” for example, it was clear that he not only had serious bars and an original flow, but also some serious aims and aspirations. I’m not sure Drake ever had those, to be honest—despite how much he likes to talk like he does. 

Nonetheless, they each took different paths to getting to where they are. Kendrick to me has always felt like more of a pure artist, while Drake has felt more like a brand—especially as he moved away from his first few albums, which I always thought were his strongest, and began to lean into this annoying habit of bragging about what he has, about how many girls he’s sleeping with, and about how successful he is.

What has always frustrated me as someone who likes Drake's music is that he’s never seemed to grow as an artist. Sure, there is shit that he said about partying and women, and living a flashy lifestyle that sounded hard when I was 19 or 20 or 21. But now that I’m 33, with a family and a real life, when I hear about these things from Drake, who is older than I am, I just think to myself: When are you gonna grow the fuck up, bro?

Kendrick, meanwhile, is an artist I feel like I’ve watched grow in real time, and have taken many lessons from the growth he’s shared on wax. I’ve enjoyed watching his personal development from an album like good kid, m.A.A.d city, which hit me extra hard as I’d always considered myself like a “good kid” who’d escaped his own mad city, to an album like Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers, where I loved to hear him grapple with many of the same questions I’m grappling with around manhood, fatherhood, spirituality, and more. 

To me, Kendrick is special not only because of his obvious lyrical ability, but also because he’s always been willing to explore big questions and feelings and nuances in his music. He’s an artist’s artist, and I’m so happy he came out on top. The beef was not only just fun to witness as a rap fan, but also, to me, a win for the power of art that really tries to speak about the complexity of life, rather than simplify things, or reduce them, into something digestible and catchy. 

IV.

Some things I recommend checking out, in addition to the two things I’ve already mentioned (Sally Rooney’s novel and the What’s the Dirt youtube channel). 

• This episode of the Honestly podcast, which I thought did an interesting job of teasing out the lessons we can learn, politically, from the wildness that was 1968. 

• This song “Drugs” by The Philharmonik. 

• This essay, “Mom Talk” by Alexa Ferrer on new motherhood and remaining sexy for The Miami Native Magazine. 

• These books: All Fours by Miranda July and What Are Children For? by Anastasia Berg and Rachel Wiseman.

• If you’re in Miami, or the South Florida area: I’ll be in conversation wtih Melissa Mogollon, author of the funny and extremely original Oye, at Books & Books on Wednesday night. If you’re around, I highly recommend you come out. Melissa’s dope, and I think you’ll love her book.

V.

Here are some dope things that have happened for Victim since we’ve last heard from each other:

• The BBC and NPR named Victim one of the best books of 2024, which was so damn cool to learn, and a real honor on both fronts. Speaking of NPR, back in June a thoughtful interview with the novelist Rachel Barenbaum and myself dropped on New Hampshire Public Radio. 

• In June, I had a few really fun podcast appearances drop. I made an appearance on the

  Time To Say Goodbye
  podcast with Tyler Austin Harper and Jay Caspian Kang, appeared on episode of Walk-Ins Welcome with
  Bridget Phetasy
  , and an episode of
  The Unspeakable with Meghan Daum
  . Not only did I love all these convos, they also happened to take place with writers whose work I’ve long respected and admired. Each convo was a real treat.

• Finally, this past month two new pieces of mine were published. First, a short story “Dulces” in the Miami Native Magazine. It’s a little chunk from the larger project I’m working on, which, as I mentioned above, is changing constantly. Even so, I’m so happy to get this one out there, and add to the canon of child tantrum fiction–if such a canon exists. The second piece is an essay I wrote for Public Books about American Fiction, and a genre of fiction I’m particularly susceptible to, and tried to aim for in Victim, that I call “satire with heart.” Many thanks to the great

  Geraldo Cadava
  for commissioning the piece.

VII.

Substack fam, if you’ve been a subscriber for a while, you can see that I’m trying out something new here. I’m excited about leaning back into my Substack in the coming months, and rethinking the way I use it and express myself. I’ll keep trying to do that moving forward, and I appreciate you for being around, listening, and engaging. 

Peace, 

Andrew